Barbie in the 12 Dancing Princesses review

"Barbie stars as a beautiful princess named Genevieve with eleven sisters, Ashlyn, Blair, Courtney, Delia, Edeline, Fallon, Hadley, Isla, Janessa, Kathleen and Lacey, who all love to dance, along with their own personal likes and interests. They all live in a beautiful castle with their widowed father, King Randolph.

Disheartened by his daughters' unladylike behavior and his inability to understand them, the King summons his cousin, Duchess Rowena to help him with their upbringing. Rowena strips the castle of all fun: no color, singing, playing, or dancing. She forces the princesses to practice "proper" behavior"

Alright, so this game is about some old geezer, who apperantly had a little bit too good of a time with some fine lady, that caused him to become a father of twelve (!!!) daughters, and the mother must've died from all the action.

Obviously he wasn't the one who wanted any childs to begin with, and since his wife died, he's stuck with these twelve kids he doesn't have any efforts to raise up or teach any manners.

Things becomes a bit problematic when they're becoming annoying teenagers and the servants of the castle seemingly quit in rejection of having to babysit the brats all the time. So the King decides to call his cousin Duchess Rowena and tries to convince here to come over and raise them for him.

So this is the lead character of the game, who seems to be the mentally challenged one of all the twelve kids. You'll notice immediately that something is wrong in her nut, since the first thing that happends is that she starts talking with the castle's cat.

Judging from the Kings past behvaiour, I think I might know what he have done with his cousin that might've tired him out enough so that he completly starts ignoring his mentally challenged daughter. Might be the same way he convinced his cousin to come over aswell.

So this delusional princess can't immediately spot her sisters, and her imaginative conversation with the cat makes her think that Rowena must've taken them away somewhere. Rowena is of course a bad person in this fictionous world, who comes here and tires out her father so, and try teaching them some behaviour and manners.

Yes, the bedroom, that must be the perfect hiding spot. Rowena would never think about to look there if she were truly after this retarded child. So, from here she starts running around in the castle aimlessly, and imagines huge pits everywhere, and a sole vase trying to fall down on her over and over again.

Since the game don't have saving function, you need to remember this passwords. Cat, cat, dance shoes and charming guy. Got it!

Even more proof of how serious this girls brain damage might be. She don't recognize this pavilion that's directly connected with her bedroom, and she completly forgot what she was told to do just a minute ago (run and hide). Also, she doesn't seem to remember the castle itself at all, even though she's supposedly lived there her entire life.

She walks out of the first door and suddenly finds herself in the woods, which hints at she from now and then gets memory blackouts. So just a little bit into these woods she finds her three irresponsible little sisters playing around.

They're probably allowded to play around in the dirty woods just outside of the castle, and they don't want their mentally ill sister to valse around and telling their dad about it. They come up with this unbelievable lie, but its ok, since they know their handicapped sister will believe in anything.

Yes, it's likely that Rowena would carry three little brats into the woods, and just drop them there. They can probably see the castle from there and go back if they need to. So now the retard asks for their dancing shoes. Can't understand why since they must be several sizes to small anyway, and I don't understand what she's going to do with three pairs of them.

Seeing an opening to send their sister away, they encourage her and give her a butterfly net aswell, which might come in handy if she's going to kill the evil Rowena. Obviously the retarded princess doesn't know how to use one, so instead of capture things she find throughout the wood, she whack them with it, effectivly killing any bird or bug that might come in the way of her rampage.

That was about when I had enough. Seemingly, you run around and finds more of these bastards and they'll supposedly give her more useless stuff that makes her believe she can jump higher or things like that. It's also impossible to die in the game. All in all, if you're a seven year old girl who haven't played games before, this might be something for you!

(A little bit wordy review that I did last night can be found here. Warning for strong language.)

Dopefish: The man who takes ANY game seriously.